Do you want to love yourself? Are you ready to take some baby steps to love yourself and live the life that you deserve? Here are some of the steps and experiences I have taken to make that change.
Little bit about my story
Being someone who has gone through so much negativity in life I decided not too long ago to make a change. To find the best version of me. Me who is not suffering from panic attacks, depression, low self-esteem. After a lot of soul-searching, I realized that I was tired of myself and there was nothing anyone could do to make me feel better. No amount of other people’s love and support could fill the void I felt. Because, ultimately, I did not love myself and I wasn’t happy with myself.
I did not treat myself the way I treated my friends and I wasn’t there for me. No love, pride or appreciation for myself. No matter how much I crave the attention from loved ones I will never get enough to make me feel good if I don’t start loving myself.
How to love yourself?
Baby steps. It’s amazing how introducing new and positive habits can make a change in how you act, how you think and most of all how you feel. I am sure you were happy at one point in your life, maybe as a child. Life perhaps threw you through thick and thin and now you feel like you’re drowning. I’ve been there. I really was.
Darkness was taking so much of me that I could barely function without feeling fearful or sad or both. Eventually, I asked for help and I made a choice to actually find my way out.
What are the baby steps to love yourself?
Before I get into the details let me ask you one thing, are you a good friend? Do you treat others with respect, are you there for them? Good, that’s awesome, be that kind of a person. But decide to put yourself in the same equation and be that friend for yourself too. Just tell yourself, Hi friend, nice to see ya, let’s grab a cup of coffee and have an internal chat, shall we? If your friend was going through what you are going through what would you do for them? Try to see yourself as your friend who needs your help.
Tips to tackle negativity
The mind is a funny thing. It doesn’t like change that much. It will be afraid of positive if you are caught up in the negativity cycle (I call it a weird comfort zone). Here are some examples (or tips if you prefer) of what I did that helped me eventually see the light.
- Making myself believe it will pass – the panic attack, the darkness, the bad – IT WILL PASS. Nothing is constant in this world, everything changes. Breathe. It will pass. Start believing it will.
- Doing what kids love to do – drawing, spinning in circles, jumping on the bed, doodling, painting, drawing geometrical shapes, whatever you enjoyed doing as a kid, do it!
- Giving myself permission to not think negatively for a period of time. I started with 20 minutes – It can be anything from 5 minutes to an hour. Slowly increase time period or make it several periods during the day (for example, I will not think about my problems for the next hour, after that if I want I will continue). This actually relaxes the mind so it doesn’t clench at the thought of change. This method actually helped me to reduce the time I was thinking about the next panic attack. After about 7 days of doing it, I started looking forward to the minutes/hour my mind would rest. After about two weeks I let myself listen to music after a looong time (I couldn’t even listen to music, can you believe that), and after 15 minutes of listening, I started singing to it. This was the moment I actually saw the hope for the first time in five years.
- Introduce positive thoughts slowly. Don’t expect to think happy thoughts immediately but they will start appearing. When I caught that little glimpse of hope, that’s when I started being my friend.
- Make one thing for yourself every day, no matter how small – put on makeup, tell yourself I love you in the mirror, force a smile (Here’s a funny tip I remembered from high school, if you look yourself in the mirror with a forced smile, even a grin, after 20 seconds you will look so ridiculous to yourself you will start laughing)
- Introduce physical activity – it can be just cleaning your house or taking a walk. Baby steps ok?
It Can be Done!
It took some time; I am not going to lie. It took shutting up some demons, forgiving myself certain things and finding myself to completely change my thought pattern. But the point is it can be done. With baby steps…that turned into a whole new journey that I am on now for the past two years. And this is why I made this blog. To share my experience and my journey to finding the best version of me. Thank you if you decide to be a part of it.